Over the last few months pretty much everything in my life has changed and as a result I have fallen off nearly every wagon I have ever been on. I’ve had enough of this, I really have. Of enough of feeling like rubbish which results in a lack of motivation to do anything!
So, what has happened?
For the best part of a year my husband and I have been making plans to buy a campsite in Scotland. It was such a beautiful location even if the owners house left more than a little to be desired. IT was in the middle of beautiful rugged coastline, abundant and amazing nature and a community spirit you could feel as soon as you got there even as a tourist.
Last year we made a trip up to see the site and fell in love with it instantly. We were due to finance the purchase with the same of an inherited house which we had a ‘guaranteed’ buyer for. The sale date was agreed for early January so we set about the mammoth task of clearing the house out over Christmas no less.
The completion date came and went with no movement, a random line in a deed agreement somewhere down the chain being blamed for all delays. Then, after TWO MONTHS of waiting the worst happened. While we were at the top of the chain, the 5 link long chain below collapsed catastrophically. Our buyer still wanted the property and asked us to wait for him to find a new buyer for his house … which turned into another wait of over a month.
He then changed his mind and decided not to move at all.
Through all this time we were having to stall the owner of the property we were wanting to buy and racking up solicitor fees both here in the UK and in Scotland. While we got the house back on the market and have had multiple viewings, no one has offered anything near our asking price, despite it being priced a lot lower than any other property in the area for a ‘quick sale’.
A few weeks ago our worst fears were confirmed. An email from our solicitor confirmed that another offer had been put forward on the property in Scotland and how did we want to proceed. With no idea how long our property was going to be on the market for, no idea what price we would get for it and no idea what the competing offer was for (£1 over ours or £100,000 over ours?) we had little choice but to advise that our previous offer stands but is still subject to sale.
The other offer was accepted. The property has gone.
To say I’m heartbroken is putting it lightly. I know I was thinking with my heart and not my head but the vibe of that place was just entrancing. It was like it had cast a spell over me. I have never felt so relaxed anywhere else in the world. It was a real blow.
In the mean time many other things, large and small, have disrupted our lives.
Last April I got made redundant in some shambolic show culminating in me being told that I had been selected due to “issues with performance and quality of work”. When asked why nothing had been brought up with me I was told it would have been but they hadn’t gotten round to a performance review meeting yet … Still … I got paid to leave and I wasn’t happy in that job anyway.
The kicker didn’t come until 3 weeks later, I often wonder if the bosses there were psychic.
3 weeks after getting made redundant I found I was (am) pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, this is an amazingly wonderful thing and my husband and I are so happy! But c’mon! Timing!!! Chances of landing a new job while being pregnant are slim at best yet JSA seems to be the only way I can go to make sure I am still getting my NI stamp. A 4 hour round of phone calls to various benefit advice lines, claim lines and job centre offices left me feeling exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally.
Not to mention the woman that told me (and I quote) “Just being pregnant doesn’t matter to us or the government, until it’s born it doesn’t exist”. This is quite possibly the most horribly worded statement I have ever come across and in my tired, emotional state I got so angry I burst into tears and couldn’t speak. When she then said I “sounded upset” and did I want to “speak to any service that could help” I just stammered no so she ended the call. I’m getting angry just talking about it.
Anyway, I’m now pregnant, jobless and have lost out on a dream property. Oh and our washing machine decided that would be a great time to break down, we had home insurance, MOT and car insurance to pay and I have been dealing with “morning sickness” at random times of day for the last 4 weeks. Can someone stop the world, I want to get off.
I’ve also dissolved into eating an endless round of comfort food so I’m not sure if my expanding waist band is because of over indulgence or the growing baby …
But life goes on. As I said while we are both more terrified than we have ever been over anything else, we are both thrilled to be having a baby. I have my first scan in a couple of weeks.
Now I just need to somehow get our lives back on any track I can find.